Just be nice.


One of the most interesting parts of having a blog for me, is finding that hard line within the fog of sharing personal and professional information. I started this blog originally to connect with my current clients outside of the salon, give them industry related information and connect on a personal level. In the past year and a half of having this website, much has evolved, but I am still trying to identify how much of my personal life is sharable before it just becomes annoying to others. I’ve claimed to be a beauty and lifestyle blog, and for me, the two are directly connected. 

Just when I decide to pull back, and create only beauty and fashion related content, I get emails or facebook messages asking lifestyle related questions. Again, this is such an interesting spot for me, my intentions were never to showcase my personal life, but I wear my heart on my sleeve and my passions are always present, so trying to downplay that is foreign in itself. 

In the past six months especially, I’ve had many cosmetology students and fellow beauty professionals contact me privately through this website. I’ve had childhood friends I’ve lost touch with reach out to simply say they read or love the blog. Many other women in long distance relationships connect with me to vent and just seek hope that it’s worth it… or possible. SO many people ask for MORE personal content.  

So I’m in a funky spot today, day one without my partner in crime. And I sobadlywant to sit here at my quiet desk and chat about fashion week or the Grammy’s, but my personal resolution for the blog is to not force content, and speak passionately. And today, all I’m feeling, is like a total sloth. 

If you’re new around here and recently tuned in… I get to live with Sammy for four months out of the year, and we’re apart for eight. Today is day one of the new eight month cycle. (You should have seen me at the airport this morning…) Our fourth season away, and it only gets harder. It’s a strange thing, because people know about us, but no one really knows us. 

So with all that rambling, I actually do have a point: BE NICE. Everyone is struggling with something. For me, right now, it’s regaining balance and feeling an emptiness. JUST BE NICE, it could make all the difference in someone’s day. 

You have the power every single day to be a daymaker, why would you want to be anything else?

Last night while I was trying to sleep, my inner critics had way too much Red Bull. My brand is all about optimism and feeling amazing, but I’m human. Today, I’m leveling with you about what it’s like to work behind the chair, rock a bridal business, buy for Bonnie & Clyde, AND maintain and grow a blog. 

Starting a brand and blog calls for some vulnerability. Speaking unfiltered is like handing someone earbuds to your thoughts. Yet, as soon as you have an audience, there seems to be less thoughts.

I doubt my own story. I know I’m cool. Will they think I’m cool? Am I cool? The devil on my shoulder laughs at me, the angel is singing Taylor Swift’s “Mean”.

Falling for the idea that there is a right and a wrong way to blog just happens. I’m not doing it wrong. There isn’t a wrong!

There’s a required balance between social sacrifice and social networking. Cutting out the girl’s night is sometimes necessary because blogging followed by tagging Tory Burch in a tweet might gain some exposure… MIGHT.

I know I’m a badass chick, but when I have writer’s block or ZERO time to post, I feel the pressure to maintain that.

When it gets dark at 4:30 I loose momentum and just wanna watch Homeland.

There’s nothing worse than writing a GREAT post, for it to get two likes on facebook and zero comments. I hear my echo in the distance and give myself a hug, because that’s all I CAN do.

The biggest thing I’ve learned about blogging is that I’ll never stop learning. 

I think to myself I’m only true to my brand while carrying my new Kate Spade and rockin’ the ombre, but it’s about reminding myself that my brand IS me. Me in yoga pants, me with a ponytail, me living in a small studio apartment that I loathe. I’m more than that handbag, and I’m definitely more than the haircolor trend that’s come and will surely go. I’m creative and love to LOVE. I’m… driving with the windows down, using new stationary, and disobeying bedtimes. Goofy and professional. Chevron and neon. Dancing in the grocery story and crying over baseball.  I am me, and only I can define that.

I am Your Stylist AJ. 

                                                             Photo by Emilia Jane Photography

Starting a blog is a vulnerable and comforting experience. I’ve learned so much about myself through this so far short journey sharing my passions and trade with the world wide web. I’ve gathered ample amounts of feedback, questions, requests and fans, and with that, am ready to address everything in one post.

ON CHICAGO:

“You’re SO lucky you live in Chicago.”

OKAY COMON. I know you know better. It’s not luck. I didn’t WIN my life here in the windy city. I worked my booty off. I moved to Denver, back to Michigan, to Atlanta, back to Michigan, then Chicago. I moved to Chicago with $500, and no job. I lived in an apartment: 4 girls, no a/c, one bathroom. I took a bus to a train to work in what felt like the burbs. I gave away hundreds of free haircuts to get anyone I met in my chair. NOW, I’m obsessed with Chicago, I’m booked with weddings through the end of the year, am the color educator at Thomas West Salon, and you’re reading my blog, all in less than three years. Mission accomplished.

ON BLOGGING:

Everyone seems to be confused as to why I’m doing this. Why I’ve taken on yet aNOTHER responsibility. Those who know me well weren’t surprised, yet weren’t encouraging. They know I, for some reason, kinda enjoyyy being stressed, having tons on my plate and feeling busy. To clarify: Yes. I do enjoy having more to do than I have time for, hence my shopping problem, due to never having clean clothes. The beauty of my lifestyle, is that there’s zero room for boredom, and little room for failure. I make it my mission to get what I want. So for those confused still as to why I’ve taken on creating a website and blogging often, it’s to take on more. To establish a relationship with my clients outside of the salon, to grow my connections nation wide, to prepare a following for when I open a Chicago boutique, to have something for ME. I make men and women feel beautiful every day. It’s instant gratification at it’s finest. But what’s left, is a temporary warm fuzzy feeling, and split ends dusting the floor around my chair. When I come home, I’m inspired by the career I’ve chosen, but loneliness creeps and I miss my long distance boyfriend, when I have no one to tell about all the day I just lived. Blogging is an outlet, a hobby, sometimes yes- a chore, but mostly, it’s evidence. It’s proof of my realness. 

ON MATERIALISM AND MARRAIGE:

I don’t feel materialistic at all. I am a positive inspired woman, looking to spread beauty on the inside AND out. My beauty and fashion aspects of this blog don’t take away from the core of who I am and what I live by. A huge part of my career involves weddings, therefore I blog about them often. This doesn’t mean I have wedding fever. My boyfriend is married to his career, and I’m the other woman. This is OKAY, because I’m married to my career. None of my actions have ever displayed the search of a husband, or wondering if I’ll have a family someday, or wanting the house with a yard, or thinking it’s necessary to have a great big diamond. I’m in love with love, I love my boyfriend and I love my career, one big happy family.

I’m overjoyed with the response I’ve received from this website. Please continue to use the contact tab to ask me anything, or request what you’d like more of. And as always, please remember Your Stylist AJ isn’t a secret! So please like and share the facebook page.

Make it a great week! :)
AJ